I was a patient here for many years — patient in every sense — until it dawned on me that 15-minute, stopwatch medicine is less healthcare and more conveyor belt. Symptoms get mopped up while the tap stays on, because apparently, root causes are too complicated and there’s not enough time. When your doctor shrugs and suggests alternative treatment because finding the cause is like looking for a needle in a haystack, that’s not honesty — it’s abdication. The practice will no doubt thrive on rebranding and shiny new revenue streams; because one thing I do know about marketing is that perception is far more important than reality. For me, I’m off to find a GP whose diagnostic range extends beyond a raised eyebrow, and who accepts that food allergies aren’t an urban myth and that gut health, diet and blood pressure are linked.